Monday, September 8, 2014

Winding down, gearing up and silently changing

I don't suppose I ever really wind down, I attempt to sometimes but then get thoroughly bored with the effort, sounds strange. So I might as well stay wound up but not too tightly. I do plan to include more calm into my daily hours, and really make and remember to do so, practice, practice.

I have found myself more often just sitting down, consciously muting out the self conversations muttering around in my head. The sound of the wind in the high pines and enormous oaks transport me to the beach, a soothing sound and most helpful tool from nature.

Something new I learnt this summer, was not to have conversations with myself. That this invariably lead to arguing in my head, and sometimes it would get really loud in there. I need peace and quiet, I need to take care of myself and not allow myself to be caught up in dramas.

The other major thing I learnt this summer was about anger and what it means, and more importantly how to not get angry. Here is the link that helped me "How to control anger"

No winding down is suddenly the realisation that summer is coming to it's end, and this year I managed to weather (no pun intended) the heat much better than before. I do think it was a tad cooler this summer, at least the heat didn't last longer than three continuous weeks, and of course there have been no major fires around us, another blessing. The drought though does continue and we are now into our third year, this one we had to reduce our water usage 25%, and we let two lawns just wither.  But that has been a new opportunity to turn them into more growing opportunities that are not grass.

Gearing up for a party to celebrate the equinox has been my focus for the last few days. We have a dear friend, a musician who has a brain tumour, he is losing his hearing along with some other not pleasant things. He has decided to do another evening of music at our home prior to the surgery scheduled early October. We are so happy to have him play again at our home. I shall do my part, food and good surroundings along with inviting folk to listen, natter and enjoy each others company.

Change enters our lives silently

We all see things about ourselves, relationships, and world that we want to change. Often, without any big to-do,  change happens, without us.

We lose track of time. We may worry about a seedling in a pot with our constant attention and watering for several weeks only to find ourselves enjoying the blooms it offers and wondering when that happened, and how we didn'’t notice it.

Nature, on the other hand, has infinite patience and stays with a thing all the way through its life. This doesn’'t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change —they do. It’'s just that they are one small part of the picture that finally results in the flowering of a plant, the shifting of a relationship, the softening of our hearts.

The same laws that govern the growth of plants oversee our own internal and external changes. We observe, consider, work, and wonder, tilling the soil of our lives, planting seeds, and tending them. Sometimes the hard part is knowing when to stop and let go, handing it over to the universe.

Usually this happens by way of distraction or disruption, our attention being called away to other more pressing concerns. And it is often at these times, when we are not looking, in the silence of nature’s embrace, that the miracle of change happens.  (the Daily OM extract)

Today, changed happened when talking to my daughter and I was explaining a circumstance that had happened whilst she was on holiday. As we spoke and I listened I heard about being authentic, and having authentic connections. Simple things that I knew like 'hugging a friend or family member' 'randomly calling a friend' that we missed each other. The best advice was "stopping myself to respond" to things that just wind me up. I love my daughter and intelligence, her love and caring. Now there is an authentic soul. oxoxoxo love your mum (who will silently change for her better).

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